Hello all.. I hope this is ok for this community, if not I will promptly remove.
I need help, input, feedback and advice.
The following is a collaborative between mainly myself and a friend of mine.
We're aiming to write a book to help men figure out just what the hell to do with women.
I am calling on you (women) to help us out. I am sure we missed some important things, so feel free to let us know here. I think we’re covering the basics with 3 main sections. Physical, Sexual and Emotional. Each one of those are broken down into sub categories.
Today, we covered physical.
The (real) Rules.
“Do this shit and
you’ll get laid”
This will be broken down into 3 main categories, and those main categories will be broken down into smaller, subcategories.
But hope is still there in our hearts. We all wish that one
day, when we go to unzip those pants, we are lucky enough to be presented with
a trimmed, groomed and freshly cleaned mid-area.
Keeping in mind that men are simple, low maintenance creatures (come on, it’s true.. how many of you actually DO shave once a day?), we have outlined the very basic things that would make our night. Anything that you would be compelled to do that falls above and beyond this, well, just give it a shot and we will show you just how happy it makes us.
It’s only polite.. we risk serious injury day to day, twisting and contorting in the shower to ensure we haven’t missed a spot. We endure razor bur and ingrown hairs. We go through so much trouble to make your job easier. At the very least, a pair of electric clippers once a week won’t kill you. And don’t worry about the itchy re-growth. It goes away if you do it on a regular basis.
In regards to facial shaving; think about the places you put
your face. Women are very sensitive creatures to the touch.
Nose Hair and Ear
This is a SOUND investment for your future. Trust us on this
Let’s not forget the toenails either. There’s nothing like
curling up in bed, getting all cozy and comfortable and then WHAM! The feeling
of a dull rusty butter knife going down your calf.
Also, chapstick is your friend. This goes somewhat hand in hand with the facial shaving. Chapped and dry lips plus a scruffy face are not a good combo. You might get better results by rubbing us with some sandpaper between our legs.
All of the above applies to feet as well.
The human body has natural cracks and crevices. Those areas will benefit extremely well with the usage of soap.
When we go down on a guy, keep in mind that a strong whiff of B.O. (or god knows what else can accumulate down there…) can easily induce the gag reflex. And you all know what happens when that is induced… NO MORE BLOWJOB!! So as nagging as all of this may sound, we really are looking out for your best interests too! Look at this as a “How you can help us do our job BETTER!!”.
To smell or NOT to smell:
When we get up close and personal, we don’t want a nose
full, or even eye full of strong cologne.
All we’re really asking for is a few sit ups when all those six packs start heading to your waistline. No, no washboard abs or anything extreme like that.. but no can’t-put-my-arms-around-your-waist beer belly either.
We know this sounds like an awful lot to ask of you, but
keep in mind that we’re not asking you to do any less than what we would do
Think about it.
This is an ongoing work in progress.
Yes.. I really DON’T have too much time on my hands… I
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